Scrambled
by Agent Midnight
Summary: Duo tries to watch scrambled cable-- ficlet, slight humor, POV (Duo), slight 2x2.


Clouded eyes stared fixedly at the vid-screen monitor, flicking in time with the movements of the two people on it...  
  
... or rather, what movements were legible.  
  
Duo Maxwell grunted as the channel fuzzed and split again, the images breaking apart by the malevolent force of a bluish-green line straight through the middle. The earphones emitting the soft moaning noises popped from his ear as he threw his head back, his hand moving slowly from its position tucked in his loose jeans.  
  
He caught sight of what might have been a breast, and a shudder of pleasure rushed through his system. That small ounce of pleasure was washed away as he realized it wasn't a breast but the top of the man's balding head. Laughing breathlessly, he focused yet again on the jumbled images, trying to make out anything that would give him a little rise. His hand deserted his pants for just enough time to pop the earphone back in his ear, his eyes flicking to the doorway with a quiet worry of being caught.  
  
With the coast clear for the time being, he drew his eyes across the now redish-blue screen, the lines bouncing up and down in a decisively sexual manner. The soundtrack accompanying the bouncing was enough of the puzzle for Duo to imagine the man entering the blonde with the fake breasts. Of course, Duo wasn't entirely sure that it was a blonde woman with fake breasts, but he had watched plenty of porn movies before to know of the norm.  
  
There was panting and moaning, name calling and cussing, slaps and whimpers... and Duo had to continue to check and see if he was matching those noises sound for sound from arousal. When he was assured that he hadn't done anything offensive to himself, he continued with leisurely strokes, finding the bouncing blue strips to be very sexy when the woman's screams and the man's soft grunts were put into the background.  
  
"-oh god...-"  
  
"-oh god...!-"  
  
"-ohhh, yesss...-"  
  
A loud smack sounded from his earphones small speakers, and Duo allowed himself a small wince as the woman snarled with pleasure and started begging.  
  
"-harder... yes...!-"  
  
"-yes, yes, yes!-"  
  
Duo's hand stopped altogether as images of the Herbal Essence commercials came into his mind. That took up four complete "mississippi" seconds of his activity, and he started up again, much quicker. His eyelashes fluttered open and closed for numerous moments as a tingle shot up his spine and raced back down to where he was offering up all the attention.  
  
He felt the familiar feelings begin to settle in his gut, hand pumping in time with the split-screen scramble, the woman's raunchy shouts filling his ears. Then he heard it-  
  
The sound of a shoe falling onto the old hardwood flooring in the hallway alerted him of another presence. The loud creaking was close, but not close enough where he had already been caught.  
  
Instinctively, his other hand lifted the remote rested on the cushion next to him and he pressed a button, watching the scrambled channel flick off with a little note of disappointment; he hadn't heard them come.  
  
A fraction of a second later, he heard a shocked gasp come from behind him in the doorway. Tilting his head, he saw Heero looking quite stunned from where he propped against the doorframe. Heero's eyes flicked from his hand still hidden in his pants, the lump making it quite obvious that he hadn't just been scratching, and then they moved up to the vid-screen. Duo watched the shocked appallment settle on Heero's face, not realizing that this would have made his friend uncomfortable to that great extent.  
  
"Duo, that is sick!"  
  
"Heero, listen-"  
  
Finally ignoring Duo's state of semi-undress, he settled for gaping at the screen in horror.  
  
Coming to the conclusion that Heero wasn't disturbed with him masturbating in the living room, Duo nervously shifted his eyes back to the vid-screen and his own mouth joined Heero's on the floor. Before he could say one single word, Heero had beat him to the chase and allowed his comment to lace into the sudden silence.  
  
"... The Disney Channel?!"  
  
His friend pointed at his crotch and then back at the brightly-colored screen.  
  
"That's wrong!" 


End file.
